tekko's thoughts

Eh. Not that I've really been through it, but to be honest, whatever that is, I am not ready for. I have had multiple instances of infatuation for some people even if in some degree, but I've never really had a girlfriend or anywhere near (just for the record, I am a straight male with non-conforming gender expression). But what is love? At surface, I could easily define it as the connection or bond between people, cause I believe that it is a spectrum of multiple intrapersonal and interpersonal dimensions, roughly ranging from friendship to romance (quote me on that). It can hurt you, it can break you down, it can tire you but in the end, stick together with the highest tolerance. You love this person for a deep reason, you cannot just simply walk away from it, pretending you forget. But no, not only would it be etched in your mind, but to your soul as well. I don't know, I haven't felt that for someone other than my mother. Some day... This entry is a bit short, I...

Three months in age 17, things are not going well. There's an incredibly stark difference between ones perception on a 16 year old and a 17 year old. At 16, it was like the goldilocks of being a teen, you get to be treated like an adult, be respected like a minor. But 17? What an excuse to be a teen; you ought to be an adult by now! It's just a bummer that I have to let go of the teenager side of me being too comfortable around people and start living as an adult, setting clearer boundaries against people, and most of all, knowing my limits. I wish I'm forever stuck as a child, but at the same time would hate to be cursed in the same age. I guess as we age, we really are required to let things go. Rest now my child, you have done your part in my life. Thank you for all the wonderful memories, all I see of vibrant, vivid colors. May you rest within me and be there for me as this vessel lives on with you within my heart.

Literature is so damn beautiful. Especially slice-of-life ones. Why be obsessed over someone if you can be obsessed with a character you made? You can get them to do what you want, get them to dress what you like---no EDP, we're not talking about AI girlfiends. I figured this out when I was inspired by Diceskiyo on YouTube when they, as the author, post voiceovers of their manga. Their characters are so cute; especially the dynamics of Ichinomiya Saika and Imada Teppei, probably the reason why i got caught up with her art. I became in love with them. To be honest, I've been working on a little bit of art myself, I painted a wet cat all in blue. I don't know, seemed cute. I never saw me even once become an artist like those guys, drawing perfect anatomy, making thirsty poses of their OCs for fanservice, and they actually get money for doing that. So when I saw that artist making such a cute couple, I thought, wait, I could do this... I think . I thought so. I think so. Let...

 Just finished my roasted sunflower seed pack, I should buy some more. My circadian rhythm is dogs***, if you were to put me somewhere in the world where my sleep schedule would sync up with the average 9-to-5 Joe, it would set me five hours behind my time zone---minus daylight savings, what a joke.  Anyways, how am I doing?  Well. Aren't you already insane talking to yourself? In your own blog?  Well that means I have self-awareness now that you... that I, myself... have pointed that out. ANYWAYS, AGAIN. I was meditating on something. First, I s***. Second, I still need to code that game. Third, that's boring, we can procrastinate on that. Fourth, we should probably do that now. Fifth, let's do that  maybe...  tomorrow , in a bold typeface. I've gotten some friends from playing Murder Mystery 2 on Roblox. They're cool and all, they probably think I'm weird. I plan to make content on my TikTok, as I had solemnly swore to one of them when I started to use th...

Snacking on some roasted sunflower seeds during the early hours of a Sunday. There's this fire in me which seeks to make stuff; may it be a physical product or a service. I really wanna do something before college comes (which is... next year). What My Mind Scopes I have so much interests, though most are incredibly niche. Crochet, linguistics, taxonomy, physics and mathematics, or heck, even philosophy an politics. There's so much things in the world that needs attention, in my limited life, I aspire to know as much as I can, that is the meaning of life of which I take to heart. I was educated about the best way to learn, id est , you learn most through teaching. I was a child when I did and I took it to heart too much, too much such that I did consider becoming a teacher (though that career had bad rap in my family so...) In terms of academics, as verified by a national assessment, I am most knowledgeable of natural sciences. It is the branch of science which studies what is ...